Playing Cards and Poker Hands as a Substitute for Dice Rolls in TTRPGs

Late last year, I was nearing the end of my first ever playthrough of Dave the Diver (which I absolutely loved, by the way) when I became obsessed with a surprisingly in-depth poker minigame in the Sea People Village. I can probably count the amount of real poker games I’ve played on one hand, but something about this game instantly had me hooked (or harpooned, if you will). It was a fast-paced, addictive roguelike with unique art and mechanics embedded in an otherwise unrelated fishing game, and I was enthralled.

I found myself playing constantly: when I was bored, procrastinating, or just in need of something to do with my hands. One night, while on a call with a friend, I excitedly streamed my gameplay to her. “I wish I could play more than just these few levels,” I complained. “There’s no way they built out this whole system for such a small part of the game.”

She laughed in disbelief. “That’s literally just Balatro. How have you never heard of Balatro?”

Embarrassed, I bickered with her for a few seconds and then promptly rushed to Steam to download the full game. Ever since, I’ve logged… well, let’s just say a probably unhealthy number of hours in Balatro. This sparked in me a short-lived obsession with poker and other playing card games, but, as with pretty much everything in my life, it also made me think, “How can I make this about TTRPGs?”

After all, the friend who told me about Balatro was also the DM for our late D&D campaign and a player in my gone-but-not-forgotten Call of Cthulhu campaign. Ever since moving for college (and some friend group break-ups along the way), I’ve missed playing TTRPGs with her. We’re always looking for new ways to play and, perhaps more importantly, new players. However, most people who’ve never played any TTRPGs don’t have D20s lying around, and games like D&D aren’t exactly the most accessible or exciting for newcomers. So what might make the start-up cost lower and process faster?

Well, as I was thumbing through a crisp new deck of butterfly-themed cards I bought as a little park souvenir yesterday (my mom insisted), I realized a standard deck of playing cards could be a great option. They’re equally (if not more) widely available than six-sided dice and just as easy to use and understand, but their variety of suits and ranks also allows for more customization and nuance.

I’m convinced I’ve heard of a homebrew TTRPG system like this before, but I think it was in a Tumblr post, and I can’t find it with a Google search. However, I did find some full-fledged games that use playing cards (thanks to forum users here and here, as well as this comprehensive list that I will definitely be referring to in the future)!

In Castle Falkenstien, each suit represents different skills and magic types, while ranks act as skill modifiers. Outside of combat, players have hands of four cards, meaning they can view their successes (or lack thereof) ahead of time and choose which card to play. This system also limits their actions; for example, if you have a hand of clubs in a situation that requires charisma (represented by spades), you’re out of luck. However, this can also inspire creative problem-solving and fun scenarios: Maybe you can’t talk your way out of the situation, but you can try fighting your way out!

This now-archived Reddit post outlines a similar ruleset, although each suit represents different skills (more akin to D&D skills). Face cards are used for randomized character creation, while number cards are used for skill checks. Unlike in Castle Falkenstien, players only draw 1-3 cards at a time, depending on their skill level (as determined by the face cards). Taking damage gives disadvantage to a skill associated with a face card.

To me, where this rules-lite system really shines is in its optional rules. The use of face-down cards as a dungeon map with random encounters calls to mind dice stacking mechanics in some homebrew dice-based games, and the optional Joker rules remind me, of course, of Balatro.

Perhaps one of the most exciting parts of Balatro is discovering the rules and perks added by each new Joker, and it’s always reminded me of Mao, a card game introduced to me by my high school choir director. Not explaining the rules of Mao is the whole point of the game, so it would feel almost sacrilegious to post them here, but, point being, the idea of a card-based TTRPG with hidden rules and a similar feeling of discovery is interesting to me. While perhaps the point of a card-based TTRPG is to be rules-lite, the opposite—a ton of rules and number-crunching, which usually isn’t my thing in RPGs, but I love it in Balatro—could also play into the roleplay aspect and inspire wacky social scenarios like those that might arise in systems like Castle Falkenstien.

However, like in most TTRPGs, the majority of these rules would come into play in combat. Players and NPCs would draw numbered cards for initiative. Then, the GM would blindly deal cards to each player and themself, with the hand size depending on the amount of players, and players would take turns playing poker hands. This could be played like a real game of poker, in which the winning hand is victorious and earns points that represent health, combat progress, damage to enemies, etc. Alternatively, like in Balatro, players could simply play poker hands to meet a point goal (damage to the enemies) set by the GM within a certain number of rounds (before they die to enemy attacks). Points could be tallied on paper as in most RPGs, or physical chips, dice, or even real money could be used.

I like the idea of using suits to represent different skills, and I think The Anywhere RPG (the Reddit post I discussed before) has a good balance—although hearts might not be very useful in combat, unless you’re playing the equivalent of a D&D bard or warlock. However, I also like the alternative idea of using suits to represent unintended consequences, whether positive or negative. I’m imagining a system similar to Star Wars RPG (FFG)’s narrative dice, in which players can succeed but with setbacks, or fail at their intended goal but succeed in something else.

For example, if a character is trying to sneak around in an action RPG, a Ten of Spades would be a great success (in most situations) because of its rank, but the suit might mean the character gets slightly injured in the process. As another example, in a sci-fi RPG, a Three of Hearts might mean failure for a dreadnought captain trying to navigate through an asteroid belt, but at least their alien crush thinks they look super hot as the ship is crashing.

I don’t have anything near a full system built out, especially for the poker-based combat, but maybe I’ll create one in a future post. For now, I’m going to brainstorm and enjoy testing out some existing card-based RPGs… if I can convince any of my friends to join me. Come on, you don’t even have to buy dice!

So, I Got Impatient and Already Changed the Blog Name

Pretty much what the title says. I thought of eggpuh as a username or website name a while ago (late at night while sleep deprived, which probably contributed to its silliness). I like the sound of it in my head, but it just looks so ugly written down. The irony and silliness does not outweigh the ugliness.

So now it's Jumper Creek (or jumper creek, maybe; I like how it looks lowercase). It's one of my dad's favorite nicknames for me, and I've always wanted to use it as a stage name or something, but I thought it could make a good blog title, too. But who knows; maybe I'll be the vocalist of a band of the same name someday if I can ever figure out how to write half-decent song lyrics! Anyway, hopefully I won't feel quite as silly sharing posts from this blog now.

"Amuzling" Words from the Writings of Horace Walpole

While browsing my peers’ discussion posts in the linguistics course I’m taking this semester, I discovered a post discussing the Old English noun-making morpheme “-þ” and how it became the modern “-th” morpheme we see today in nouns like “growth,” “strength,” and “youth.” For another example, my professor attached a screenshot from a game of Words with Friends she’d played, showing a 16-point word her opponent had played: “greenth.”

Curious about the noun’s meaning and origin, I did some excessive research (as usual) and was surprised to find that “greenth,” meaning “green vegetation,” was first attested in 1753. Given my classmates’ previous discussion about the “-th” suffix in Old English, I hadn’t expected “greenth” to have originated so recently in the language’s history.

After its first use, “greenth” wasn’t used again until over a century later. According to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), the word became more common in the 19th century, and the man who coined the term didn’t live to see anyone else use it… or the dozens of other words he invented.

Enter Horace Walpole, an English writer and politician probably best known for authoring the first Gothic novel, The Castle of Otranto, in 1764. He also oversaw the construction of London’s Strawberry Hill House, and his father was Sir Robert Walpole, the first British Prime Minister.

Portrait of Horace Walpole (c. 1756-57), Sir Joshua Reynolds

Horace Walpole stood out from the rest of 18th century high society, though, with modern scholars calling him everything from “camp” to asexual to “bitchy” in debates over attempts to ascribe modern labels to Walpole’s sexuality. Walpole may not have fit into any of these boxes, though, and he certainly didn’t fit into boxes created by other writers of his time. After all, he invented a new literary genre—why not invent his own words, too?

In the same year he first used the word “greenth” in his letters, Walpole also coined “gloomth,” a similarly structured noun I discovered while researching “greenth” in the OED. “Gloomth” seemingly refers to gloominess, although the OED says it might refer to something “apparently peculiar to Walpole.”

A year later, Walpole coined a third noun with the “-th” suffix, writing that Strawberry Hill House was “now at the height of its greenth, blueth, gloomth, honeysuckle-and-syringahood” in 1754. Walpole used “blueth,” a noun supposedly referring to the color of a blue sky or, more broadly, blueness, again nearly two decades later, writing “I am descended into the blueth and greenth” in 1772. Judging by his enduring use of these words, Walpole must have really believed in their efficacy as valid English words and wanted them to stick.

And stick they did. Although these words are incredibly rare in modern use, the OED doesn’t consider them obsolete (and apparently “greenth” is used enough to be playable in Words with Friends)! However, the one Walpole word that truly stood the test of time is “serendipity,” first attested in a 1754 letter he excitedly wrote to his friend Horace Mann to share his brand-new word. Apparently, he based the word on an English translation of a Persian fairy tale, The Three Princes of Serendip, because the protagonists “were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.”

Most of Walpole’s words weren’t as far-reaching, though, and most are now obsolete… which is a shame, because some are clever, and others are just hilarious. I’ve put together a simplified list of my favorites, with (some abridged) definitions from the OED.

• Airgonaut (noun): someone who flies via hot air balloon.
• Amuzle (verb): to amuse or distract oneself.
• Anglomany (noun): American support and admiration for England; this word was later used by John Adams and Thomas Jefferson.
• Honey-blob (noun): a sweet yellow gooseberry.
• Jack-puddinghood (noun): the state or condition of being a clown, jester, or buffoon.
• Junketaceous (adjective): given to celebrating and merrymaking, especially with food and drink.
• Mastiff day (noun): a very hot day, hotter than “dog days.”
• Methusalemess (noun): a very old woman, presumably in reference to the long-living biblical Methusalah.
• Minauderie (noun): a coquettish manner; flirtation or affectation.
• Minionette (adjective): small and pretty.
• Mononeirist (noun): someone who has only ever dreamed once.
• Muckibus (adjective): drunkenly sentimental or maudlin.
• Nincompoophood (noun): the state or condition of being a nincompoop.
• Robberaceously (adverb): in a manner suggestive of robbers.
• Timwhisky (noun): a small horse-drawn carriage with 1-2 seats and 1-2 horses.
• Well-behated (adjective): greatly or widely hated.

I’ve since developed a bit of an obsession with researching now-obsolete English words, and there are so many I think should make a modern comeback! “Junketaceous” is such a fittingly fun word to say, and I’m already starting to feel the “mastiff days” of summer sneaking up on us here in Florida…Even if his words become increasingly disused, though, I hope Walpole can rest easily knowing that his words are not “well-behated,” but well-beloved (at least by me)... and that “greenth” is also playable in official Scrabble.

Welcome to eggpuh

Welcome to my brand-new blog! I’m EGP for short, or “eggpuh” for even shorter—not for any good reason; I just think it sounds funny. I’ll include a little more information on my About Me page, but I probably won’t post many personal details, since this blog is just a place for me to post articles about whatever topic I feel like covering. However, my legal name is scattered around the site, just so I can prove it’s me if I use anything posted here as a writing sample. As of writing this post, I’m currently a full-time bachelor’s student in my final semester.

You might notice I already have three published posts dating back to December 2024. These were previously on another blog I created for a university assignment, but I liked a couple of the pieces, so I figured I would include them on this new blog, as well. I admittedly fudged some of the information on the RP6 post, since I hadn’t actually played Goat Crashers with my family at the time… but we did actually play a game of it over winter break (in which my family’s goats crashed a hoity-toity New Year’s Eve party and saved an ambassador to Uruguay from assassins with skillful goat dancing), and it turned out super fun! I still haven’t gotten the chance to play RP6, but I hope I can get a group together for it sometime soon… maybe this coming weekend or over spring break.

As far as future posts go, I’ll try to average a few each month, but it might be less (or a lot more, if I get on a roll). You can expect articles on games, fandom, wildlife, music, writing, and whatever else I decide to write about. There might also be some independent north-central/central Florida-focused news articles in the mix, or maybe I’ll create a separate blog or social media page for that; I’m a former journalist and don’t necessarily want to go back to professional reporting, but I also hate letting important local environmental and political issues go uncovered.

I’m not really writing for an audience right now, but, if you’re reading this, thanks! :)